Current mood:

groggy

Baby sitting
well im here.. at home.. babysitting.. how fun.. its the beginning of a super boring summer.. i jus hope that there are things to fill up my spacious time.. even if it is jus once a week..

hmm tomorrow is christina's birthday.. haha she's turning 14.. whoo she growing up so fast.. haha.. well i wonder wat she's gonna do for her birthday.. i heard that her frens are planning a sleep over for her but i dont think she should be there alone with her frens.. haha i told her brother to watch her.. but he was like "what the hell am i gonna do there with a bunch of girls?" but hey this is my cuzin were talking bout.. and knowing her and her frens.. there are probably gonna be guys there and all this bad shet that mite happen.. my cuzin changed so much.. and i really dont want her to turn out bad.. dont want ne1 in my family having the reputation of a slut.. so yea.. christina you better be good.. or i'l kick ur ass.. :P yea rite she'd probably hurt me first..

well i wanna go to the mall tomorrow cuz yea i wanna see sumone.. but then theres this parade on sunday and i need finish making this stoopid arch.. if i wanna go tomorrow i better finish this so that we don't hafta worry bout it.. dam we should of started on it like a long time ago.. but we didnt even get the dam materials yet.. crap..

*sigh* rite now its 1:23 p.m. and im waiting for sum1 to go online or call me.. i wonder where he is.. he was with his grandma at the bank like how many hours ago.. it doesnt take that long.. unless they went somewhere.. oh well il jus wait or ill jus call his cell later..

dont u think its sad when u like someone and that person likes u too for like a second than likes sumone else?? i mean come on.. u kno that this person likes u and yet u still tell that person to their face that u like sumone else.. thats pretty sad.. especially for the person that likes u.. another situation is wen u really love someone.. and ur waiting for sumthing to happen.. but sumthing tends to get in the way everytime theres a chance.. the time u think that sumthing is finally gonna happen, something else comes into the picture and so now ur thinking "man i'm screwed".. thats one of the saddest things that can happen.. also knowing that u had to get rid of sumthing else before that.. so its like things come one after another.. and u hate it so much but if u really love that person ur willing to deal with it.. ur willing to try to fix everything all over agen.. for the people reading this.. these are true situations.. i kno some people who are going through it.. and i jus wanna say that for neone who is.. i think that you can really get through it.. if u love the person so much don't give up.. if u can't take the pain jus move on.. if u cant.. and ur willing to take the pain.. then good luck and you should always trust your heart and not ur head.. no matter wat..

3:12 p.m.
well jus wen u think things are going smoothly.. something explodes rite in front of ur face to ruin things.. dammit.. life sucks doesn't it.. oh well gess im jus gonna have to deal with it.. shet.. mayb i should forget bout everything.. its freaking stoopid..

5:42 p.m.
cant u tell im like super bored.. hmm i wonder how many times i went online today.. well i talked to kevin earlier for like 5 minutes cuz we got into another "thing".. *sigh* and it was bout girls agen.. hes going to a hotel party tonite and yea.. so we got into a dispute bout that.. i sed that he mite meet another girl there.. cuz he went to his fren's birthday party.. and he met vina.. then he went to another fren's birthday part.. and he met joanna.. and tonite hes going to another fren's birthday party.. so i wonder who he's gonna meet tonite.. and all of his fren's are girls.. so of course they would introduce him, being a guy and all, to some of their frens.. and what do u kno.. sumthing happens.. u never thot that would happen rite.. but hey he's single.. hes living his life to the fullest.. hes having fun going out.. hes experiencing new things.. while im here.. sitting next to the phone.. wondering if hes gonna call.. or waiting online.. to see if he would come on.. but hey its ok rite.. i mean were not together after all.. im jus waiting for someone.. but i'l let them go out and have fun before the wait can end.. yea i'l talk to him like he's my boifren.. and yea i kno hes talking to some other girls like nuthing is happening between us.. but hey thats life wen ur single rite.. watever.. life's a bitch.. and you can't get everything you want.. u jus gotta wait.. wait to see if u stand a chance.. but sumtimes when u think u do.. gess wat.. u dont.. it may seem like it for a while.. but hey it was fun while it lasted rite.. u jus have to deal with all the bad stuff.. even if u dont like it..

hmm i was talking to my auntie earlier.. and she sed that she read my journal.. haha she sed it was really bad.. cuz of some of the stuff that she was reading.. and she asked if sumthing was going on between me and kevin.. i sed no and she thot i was in denial.. i mean of course i still have feelings for him.. but rite now he wants to have fun.. and i have to deal with it.. i mean were both single.. and sure u think i should be having fun too rite.. i mean yea i do have fun.. but i do set my limits.. i dont drink and smoke.. heck i only tried drinking twice.. and i didnt like it.. i didnt even drink alot.. heck it was jus like a shot.. and i dont go out flirting with guys.. making them think that im into them.. heck im into someone else.. y the heck would i make them think that.. and wen i do go out.. its with girls.. if there are guys.. their my frens boifrens.. or their one of my really close frens.. other than that.. i never go past my limit.. thats my life of being single.. who else has that life?? no one rite?? cuz of course if ur single u'd would be having the time of ur life with other people.. well sorry but im waiting for sumone.. i jus have to let that person enjoy everything that a person should enjoy when they are single.. even if it deals with how many other girls.. *sigh* well.. i gess that's life..

"It's funny how you could be intimate with someone one night, then flirt with someone else the next night.. pretty messed up huh.."

1:54 a.m.
hmm i jus woke up like almost 30 minutes ago.. hmm well tonite we were working on my arch so that we didnt have to worry bout it tomorrow.. and yea its finished.. then i went to sleep around 11 or sumthing like that.. well earlier i got like an unexpected call from an old fren of mine.. her name is teruko ichihara..haha man i haven't heard or seen her in a long time.. and i was freaking out wen she called.. but hey we caught up on sum stuff.. haha yea.. thats basically it.. im kinda bored rite now.. idk if kev is home yet.. he never called me back.. and he sed his curfew was 2 so idk.. mayb il call his cell later.. if he doesnt come on..*yawn*